Soundtrack to My Life


Arrowhead grads - do you remember how during sophomore year we had to give a bunch of speeches in our English class? While I don't remember what most of them were about, there is one that has stuck in my memory: The Soundtrack to My Life speech. Not because I got up there and froze or gave the best speech of my life. It's because the speech was about how some of the songs we listen to tell a story about us.

We had to talk about 4 songs that resonated with us at various points in our lives. According to the outline I found, I chose "Graduation (Friends Forever)" by Vitamin C, "Tomorrow" from Annie, "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne, and "Real World" by Matchbox Twenty. Looking at this list, I wanted to go through the basics of this assignment again. Updating my list to reflect the 7 years that have passed (wow).

So, here's a snapshot of my life via song. I've linked music videos to the song titles in case you don't know what the heck I'm referring to. Side note: the early 2000's have some weird videos, so I recommend watching them even if you do remember the song. 😉


"The Draw" by Bastille

For me, this was one of those songs where I liked it first for the sound and later loved it because of the lyrics. Part of my sophomore year of college, I had daily anxiety and high-functioning depression.  I overloaded myself with academics and clubs, so I had a lot of stress. Also, the friend group I had felt so close to and had so much fun with my freshman year underwent a significant dynamic shift. As a result, I started withdrawing myself.

But, they ended up being the key to me getting out of the dark. Once they knew the state of my mental health, we all worked together to change things and get back to a healthier friendship. Their commitment and care pulled me back to the confident, joyful me.
"Just listen to your friends. They only care and hope you're alright. I can feel the draw - I can feel it pulling me back."


"Complicated" by Avril Lavigne

This is one of the two songs from my high school list that I want to keep. It essentially was my anthem throughout grade school. The lyrics solidified my desire for authenticity before I even knew how to describe that concept. I shunned the idea of popularity because I didn't want to deal with  calculating every social decision and conversation I had to get there. 

I desired to both feel comfortable in my skin and create a space where people would feel comfortable in theirs. Of course, understanding exactly what that means and looks like is a process that I will probably be going through the rest of my life, and sometimes I get it wrong. But, the desire is still there and feels like a natural pursuit to me. 
"Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated? I see the way you're actin' like you're somebody else - gets me frustrated."


"Tomorrow" from Annie

Originally, I wasn't thinking I would keep this song. However, looking over my notes from high school, I decided it still applied. I have memories of belting out this song in the car when I was in a booster seat. Trying to hold the last note as long as Annie did. I always had a smile on my face when it came on and after it was over.

The song is a good reminder that tomorrow is a new day. If it was a bad day today, tomorrow can be different. This is actually what I think about every time I go into a presentation or a stressful exam. While that moment and the time leading up to it might suck, it will be in my past soon. And in the grand scheme of things, that one moment is just a blip of my existence. The song also voices the hope I have in those longer moments of stress and despair. I trust that things won't always be that bad. Eventually, the sun will come out again.
"When I'm stuck in a day that's gray and lonely, I just stick out my chin. And grin. And say, oh the sun will come out tomorrow."

"Everything" by Lifehouse 

When I feel overwhelmed by life, I immediately put my earbuds in and play this song. It's a love song between me and my God. It reminds me whose I am and that he will give me rest. The beginning of the song not only sounds soothing, but also is the perfect tempo for deep breathing when I have a burst of anxiety. If you haven't already, I highly recommend watching the video I linked for this song. Just in case, I do want to give a trigger warning for the end of it, though.
"You are the light that's leading me to the place where I find peace again. You are the strength that keeps me walking. You are the hope that keeps me trusting. You are the life to my soul."

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