Mini Pep-Talks and Sunshine

Everyone needs a pick-me-up some days. I know I am no exception. Because of this, there is a small plastic bin I take with me every time I move. It holds all of the cards, letters, and care cards I've received over the years. They give me the reminders I occasionally need that I am enough and how much I have been blessed by and have been a blessing to the people in my life. They remind me of the little things I do that make a difference, even if I don't realize it. They affirm that the good things I strive to do and be are getting through, with or without me making a conscious effort. They remind me how widely I am loved and of my own capacity to love.

Recently, I added another group of items to that bin. Now, it also contains the journals I've kept since my freshman year of high school. All of the entries that were painful to write or read alongside the ones that bring a smile to my face. Together with the notes, this bin reminds me who I was and who I am. It has the good and the bad; the outside and inside perspectives. While I had previously only reread my journals for these more introspective purposes, I recently came across an entry that serves more of the purpose that the notes have.

Toward the end of my sophomore year, I went to UW-Stevens Point for a research symposium. Me being me, I didn't finish writing a math paper that was due. So, I ended up spending the night with my laptop open, cup of hotel coffee in hand, hammering out the rest of a paper on a topic I barely understood. Now, for whatever reason, hotel coffee has always had an intense effect on me. So, the caffeine rush was still in the fullest of swings long after I had completed the finishing touches. Needless to say, lots of creative, deep thinking was happening at a very rapid pace. When we got back, I wrote some of it down.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Thank You Hotel Coffee

"While I was up late due to coffee at the UW symposium, I had a bit of an epiphany. I am the only person stopping me from achieving my various life 'goals' and just living my life in general. Yes, I've heard that many times, courtesy of Jahnavi and Pinterest, but it didn't sink in until that night.

If I wanted to start talking to someone in my class, I can do it. I'm literally the only thing stopping me. I could learn more about this world and the people in it. I could be just the person someone needs in their life at that moment. Or they could end up being that for me. ...

I want to taste life. These college years are the perfect time to do so. That is why it's common to hear these are the best years of your life. Of course, I don't want this feeling of freedom to fade after college. Sure, I'll have more responsibilities then, but there still will be at least weekly opportunities to do something for the soul. I just have to choose it.

Life is so beautiful. Yes, things can happen that make you question that sometimes. But, if you stop to look around and notice the simple things, it becomes harder to deny. A person's laugh, the way dew looks on the ground, how so many things are both simple and complex. You get to choose how you perceive what you see. Yes, this is coming from someone who is not living in a war-torn country. From someone not living in a jail cell. But, it is what I honestly see. Anyone can marvel at how you know how to inhale and exhale.  How you somehow command your feet to step forward.  How all these separate atoms can come together into one form. How we even exist. How much God loves each and every one of us. It's all magnificent and beautiful. And I want to be able to experience as many of the gifts God has given as possible."

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